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Jack sets out in his pea-green 1974 Buick Apollo. From Illinois to Idaho, he warns each stop, makes repairs where he can and leaves a repair card. A museum post starts connecting the dots while Jack keeps driving.
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ROAD TRIP. Jack: “Twenty-eight states. I hope America's plumbing is top shelf.” Phone: UNKNOWN TEXT. SFX: KLIK. Jack: “Calls are for people. Maps are for roads.” Caption: “According to Bulky Stool Weekly, Jack Shat routed the safest route with the best plumbing.”
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ILLINOIS / 01. Jack: “Is the plumbing sound? I'd rather ask first.” Waitress: “New valve, old pipes. Door's on the left.” SFX: GLUURRSH! Sign: OUT OF ORDER. Waitress: “You destroyed our toilet but, yet, you stayed?” Jack: “I own up for what my bowels do. I was raised right!”
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IOWA / 02. Jack: “I had an eight pound burrito a while back and my bowels need relief, my good sir.” Worker: “I will need to keep your license during your 'transaction.' I'm sure this is not your first time.” Caption: “Things go south immediately.” Sign: OUT OF ORDER. Jack: “I own up to my mistakes.” Worker: “This is more than enough!”